THE INNER WORKINGS...

my last thank you letter...

Right before I left Argentina, I wrote little notes to the incredible people in my life attempting to thank them for who they are and what they've taught me. This is the last and most important of them. It's my note to God.

Thank You for calling me to Argentina. Thank You (for some reason) deciding to allow me to follow you into battle. Thank You for not allowing me to sell my life short... for not allowing me to live life for lesser gods, for not allowing me to accept a part in a less-grand script. I don't understand why You chose me and my ten teammates. We don't deserve a part in this other-worldly life. We don't deserve a role so big and a purpose so true. But thank You for inviting us anyway.

Thank You for giving me sweet glimpses of the camaraderie of heaven. Thank You for putting me in such beautiful company. I don't deserve to be part of your body. I don't deserve to have such a practical example of that Biblical principle. Thanks for deciding to bless my socks off anyway. Thank You for forging connections that go much deeper than a language or a culture or a country. Thank You for awakening in me a craving for heaven through the fellowship You've given me. Thank You for putting me in a place to see the body as You created it to function.

Thank You for listening to a little peon who has requested much and given little. There is nothing that makes me worthy of being heard by the King, much less of receiving a response. And yet day after day You have leaned down and whispered intimacies in my ear. You've consistently given me what I've asked for, and have always exceeded my expectations.

Oh, LORD, thank You for allowing me to see your beauty. Thank You for allowing my heart to become caught up with yours. Thank You for growing a deep love for You within me. I am so filthy and You are so pure, and yet You've allowed me to come close, to gaze into your face, to rest in your arms. I don't deserve to love You so much, because the love that I have has been spawned only by a string of intimate moments. And no one deserves intimacy with the King.

There is so much more I could thank You for... for your faithfulness, for your power, for your sovereignty. Thank You for placing part of You in me. Thank You for leading us always in wisdom. Thank You for keeping your promises. Thank You for always taking me to the trough of blessings and allowing me to lap up that which is incredibly good.

But more than anything, LORD, thank You for showing me that this is only the beginning. Thank You for giving me a confident hope that the image that I have of You today will not compare to the one I will have in five years. The intimacy that I experience now does not compare to the depths You'll bring be to. It's not over. It's only just begun.

posted by Courtney @ 12:27 PM