THE INNER WORKINGS...

let's start at the very beginning.

So, to keep with my tradition of honoring my New Year's Resolutions with a complete lack of gusto or discipline, my journey through the Bible started last night. January 17th. But to be honest, we could have done worse. At least it's still January.

I started at the beginning, of course. And we all know what happens in the beginning. Nothing turns into a whole lot of something because God decides to speak. And in reading the creation account, there were a lot of things that stood out to me. I wondered why God created the world in seven days, and not just in a single moment. Why the progression? I wondered why God used the same phrase to tell Eve about the difficulties she was going to encounter in marriage as He did to warn Cain about sin. I wondered what God looked like to Adam. If he could really, truly see Him.

But this morning, as we were talking in a team meeting about our tendency to doubt God, I wondered about something else. What if Adam and Eve hadn't sinned? What if they hadn't doubted God's good intentions? What if they hadn't listened to the self-focused half-truths that the enemy spewed at them?

Because I, along with the rest of humanity, can identify with Adam and Eve. About two years ago now, I found myself in a compromising situation, just like our apple-consuming friend. I was completely convinced that I knew what was best for me. I had it all figured out. My life was quite nearly perfect. There was just this one, small, persistent, Prince-Charming-shaped hole that needed to be filled. It didn't seem like too much of a tall order. And God, caring deeply about me and my desires, certainly wouldn't find it too difficult to fill.

But the time came and went, days and years passed, and well... that darn white horse never made its delivery. And sure enough, I could hear the subtle soft susurrations of the serpent. "Are you sure He cares about you? Because it looks like to me, He's left you high and dry. Even after years of being an obedient little missionary. I think you'd do better to just fend for yourself."

And so I bit down on the cold, crunchy apple.

And this all makes me wonder... what would have happened if Eve responded well? What if she had said to the serpent, "No. Sorry, but that's just not true. God's not holding out on me. He wants the best for me. And His best does not include that particular brand of Red Delicious Apple... nice and shiny on the outside, but grainy and soft on the inside."

What if Eve had believed the Lord? What if she had trusted Him to her core? What if she had wanted what He wanted more than what she wanted?

God knew that Eve would Fall for the lie. I guess that He knew that I would too. And there are most certainly consequences. Eve and I have both found ourselves hiding from the soft yet prodding footsteps of God searching us out. But, because of grace, there is also hope. Hope of seeing Him clearly once again. Hope of knowing Him more intimately and trusting Him more boldly. Hope of the once-sweet-apple of self-sufficiency turning bitter in my mouth. Hope of change.

Goodness. All of this on Day One. I better put on my seatbelt. Looks like I'm in for quite a ride.

posted by Courtney @ 10:31 PM