THE INNER WORKINGS...

go big or go home.

I have a friend named Kyle who has a few frases celebres - slogans, if you will - that he always repeats. Most of them have to do with leadership or economics or sports or something manly. And, to be honest, because I'm not an economist or a sports aficionado or manly (phew!), I don't understand most of them. But they sure sound cool. And one that I like to pull out of my back pocket now-and-then is: "go big or go home". If you say it, you're sure to intimidate at least 2.5 people within a five foot radius. And for me, that's 2.5 people more than I'm used to intimidating. So we could call that success.

Well, Kyle, I'm happy to report that as of last night, I have finally heeded your advice. And right in time for the Superbowl.

I have two other friends (if you're keeping count) who were actually able to attend the big game last night. Live and in person. And while I'm sure their experience was exciting and thrilling to be there in Dallas with the Packers, Steelers, Cristina, the girl from Glee (my highlight, obviously!), the Black Eyed Peas and tens of thousands of people with those flattering cheese wedges lodged on their heads, I have a hard time to believe they got souvenirs as cool of mine on the big game day.

You be the judge.


Yes. A hospital bracelet, an orthopedic boot, and a pair of crutches. Take that, cheese-wedge hat.

I was able to collect the above paraphernalia due to being a heroine of real caliber, dashing in to some undisclosed structure that was going up in flames, trying to save a precious calico kitty meow-ing from within.

Well, either that or I ran into a wall.

It all happened at a superbowl party. We had enjoyed three rounds of chili dip, two quarters of football and hardly any worth-wile commercials when I decided I need a can of the holy grail of superbowl drinks - a nice, cold, silver can of Diet Pepsi. So, in order not to miss the half-time show, I darted up to get said goodness. Unfortunately for my right foot, there was a wall in the way.

Now, those of you who know me (which I presume are all of you reading this, since my blog is not read by all international talking heads - yet) know that on a scale of clumsiness, I fall right above Larry, Moe, and Curly. And, that being the case, my toes had met the cold, hard leg of the coffee table, the foot of the bed, and the corner of the wall numerous times before. This time was no different. It hurt like the dickens (because we all know those darn dickens are shamelessly painful), but that was normal. But as I hopped from the kitchen to the bathroom to "shake it off like a good sport", I noticed that something was just a little off. There was a foreign object in my sock touching my little toe. I went into the bathroom, pulled off my sock, and found four toes going in the right direction. And one toe - poor, helpless fourth toe - hanging on to the little toe for dear life.

Now, for those of you who are squeamish (and I would certainly fall into that category), don't fret. There was no blood, no bones, just a toe who had decided he no longer wanted to follow the party line. I called Iri over, and pretty soon a crowd gathered. Yes, I'm pleased to admit, that although the Black Eyed Peas were performing, I beat them out as the real half-time show.

I won't bore you of the details of hobbling to the car and trying (to no avail) to find an open Urgent Care facility (because really, who wants to work when there's so much chili dip to be had?!), and eventually heading to the UNC Hospital Emergency Room.


But after three x-rays, lots of signatures, and ride or two in the wheelchair, the doctor applied all of her years of medical training and expertise to perform the complex task of... taping my toe to its neighbor. Yes, that was the solution. And if I hadn't have received such exciting souvenirs (one of which will be a nice medical bill), I could have just pulled out a roll of scotch and done it myself. Oh, well. Next time.

And so, friends, that is how, on Superbowl Sunday, I went big. And then I went home.

posted by Courtney @ 8:01 PM